Last night, I finally made sense of my stubbornness again, as usual. I had already forgiven Hubby for being an ass for the incident a couple years ago. Again, I came to that realization and had to say I was sorry, but hell why talk about the shit we put each other through?
I helped him with work last night, backing him up is one of my duties. I don’t mind. I put my personal feelings aside and function like a partner and get down to business. I don’t whine about being sick or hurting. If anything, I keep my mouth shut and do the job. And if the male customers are giving me shit, I gotta be able to handle their crap, cuz Hubby ain’t got time to play the rescuing fool. And, I’m only nice and sweet one time, the rest I’m a bitch. We had a customer park in front of the vehicle in efforts of blocking, but we yanked it out. It wasn’t on a private property. There, that was it, and we went home.
Grandson and I went and took care of some morning chores and ran into town to ship off a package for a friend. It was her birthday. I forgot, as I do with everyone. I really suck at sending stuff off on time. I don’t why, maybe I think a magical bird will come by and do all my running around for me.
On the way, outside of Farmington has been flashing some beautiful array of Autumn seasonal scenes. Well, so yeah.. I grabbed my camera and took it with me. I have to admit, Navajo Country is one of the beautiful places in the world. I even heard so from a man that took photography around the world. It might not be here on the outskirts of the rez, but it sure is breathtaking, and I’m gonna miss it when we move.
During out stroll in the Nature park, I started to get sad thinking I will miss this place. It’s so nice and beautiful here. Quiet, wild animals roam freely around us. What’s so more adorable to see? And even, all my relatives are within a couple of hours. OK, maybe I started feeling sad when my Auntie called and asked why I haven’t called in so long. But I just started thinking about leaving this place behind, once again.
I don't mean literally living here at home. I meant as in the area. This is a small town, and the only way to getting to the top is my 'knowing the right people'. If you are just getting to be known, well you just have to work a bit harder than the rest and see if they accept you into their 'circle'.
The life I live is like a film, a transparent film that covers the shit underneath. On the page, it looks real nice and honky dory.. All a show for the run.. I have notice since the beginning of summer our home looks like a total disaster this year. I am just so not into doing anything anymore, I hate living here. True, I get material shit to occupy my time, but that doesn't make me happy at all. I just like to stay away from home, but heck it's always so nice to come home.. Funny this is just how I feel about my marriage..
New Blog for the Six
15 years ago
