I got sick of the coming and goings to the hospital. Memory loss, readjusting, side effects, medication, struggling, the pain of going through whatever process.. and aside from that I'm in a hurry to hold Tawnchi once again.
I signed off a will not to be put on machines again, if I go leave me alone deal. When Hubs returned I told him I had signed off. Oh, he was upset. He started to argue with me and on went the conversation about me.. so his cell phone rang and I told him to take care of it. While he was leaving the room Grandson states plainly in a loud voice "Gwammah? You are MY mom!"...
Well, there went my pitty party... I realized I am so selfish and foolish to my doings... I remember I had promised Grandson I will always be there for him..
Since it looked like I was in another carousel of this and that.. and I signed myself out.. I thought I'd tell Hubby some of my weirdest habits. He laughed and laughed, he put his head down and shook it.. I told him, see I'm unusual.. It's been awhile since I had genuinely seen happiness in his eyes. Oh, it was nice to see him like that.
In those moments, I thought I would write to those who had made a big influence in my life a letter. When I do die, at least they would know they made a difference in my life.
No one needs to be at my furneral just Hubs and Grandson, and TK if he's still here and wants to.
I want a private ceremony, cremate me and bury me with Tawnchi. That's all I want. There's no need for crying.. If anything, they should be happy for me because I have waited so long to be with my baby. Everyone here will be alright without me, and life does go on.
New Blog for the Six
15 years ago
