February 12, 2009

Did I tell ya, I was so stoked when NFC won the Pro Bowl.. It was rocking, Hubby and I went out to watch a movie. TAKEN, loved it..

Just watching the game made Hubby itching to live in Hawaii. Actually, we were talking about going to Hawaii again.. He just loves it. I'm ok with it, but I sho don't feel it there.. it's not for me.. I don't care what people have for it, but I ain't getting nothing out of it.

With my cousin leaving this world, it's taking a swift kick in da a$$, if you know whadda I mean.. I find it hard to accept it and go on about me life. Her children are beautiful. There's three boys and one girl, all in their late teens to early twenties ~I'm guessing. You can tell the boys live in da city, and lil gal on the rez. She looks sheltered. They all struggled with being raised by someone else, a usual routine when your parent is an alcoholic. At least, she gave her kids a chance. The last year of her life (when she found out she was terminally ill), she gathered her children so she could get to know 'em a bit more, xcept for da lil'missy. In truth, I wouldn't want the natural parent having da girl that I raised from birth myself. I wouldn't part with her, that would be too much to ask for. All of them admitted they didn't know her well enough.. just the time they spent with her in the last year of her life.

Her former in-laws spoke about how their son beat her, even with them begging to stop.. I couldn't bear it anymore, so we left. It was too frustrating for me.. All these years... I screwed around with my life, and there... she suffered and tried to get herself together. I'm just angry with myself, I didn't try hard enough to find her.. Not only that, I saw a couple of people there I could never forgive (ever)..

I wondered why these people were there... when she was young they were terribly mean to her. Called her names, whipped her, falsely accused her of doing things just so she could be punished some more... Really sickened me.. I witnessed these cruel acts.. and to see them cry at her funeral like they really gave a shit, really pissed me off. Fukken fraudies.. I couldn't stand hearing their sniffles.. I just wanted to BitchSlap them to hell.. Yah, I had a lot of animosity in there it seemed so evil for me to be there..

When I looked around to snap out of my current situation.. I saw my relatives once again.. and I gave hugs. The feelings were great. I actually missed them. One of my uncles, he has my father's facial features.. I smiled so brightly it could have lit the sky.. Yes, I miss my poppy..

I told Sweety, I just want four people to my funeral when I die. Grandpa, Grandson and my two best friends. There's no need for a circus.. If I really had it my way.. I say.. Let's Party.. Rejoice my departure, I've been waiting all these years. I finally made it!!!

After the service, I didn't feel like going home.. Grandson and I asked Grandpa if we could go to work with him.. and we did.. We buried the 3 ton truck in black ice (heck, we might as well do something useful~he he he).. it took us 2 hrs to get it out.. OMG, it was a site! And BRRRrrrr.. left my behind there on the ice (yeah, got nothing in me pants). We found the guy, his wife (they got back together), and the car... Got the car, and we all went wee-wee all the way home. Job is always done, my friend.